Playful parenting can encourage more cooperation and listening. It is possible to be playful and set meaningful parenting limits.
Playfully engaging with your child, especially in matters of discipline is sometimes mistaken as being permissive. It’s not permissive at all, it’s quite smart and effective.
Playful Parenting means joining children in their world of play, focusing on connection and confidence. -Lawrence Cohen, author of Playful Parenting.
Playfully connecting with your child fuels cooperation and capability.
You can also use playfulness to:
- reduce power struggles
- help a child accomplish a task with enthusiasm
- acknowledge and overcome fears and worries
- encourage children to contribute at home
- help siblings get along
- avoid tantrums and meltdowns
- set limits that are kind and clear
Here are two examples of how you can use a play as a parenting strategy:
Playful Parenting: Fantasy and Story Telling to Fuel Cooperation
When one of my children was around age 4, he decided he no longer wanted to have his hair washed. Instead of engaging in a power struggle, I tried to listen to his concerns. He was worried about the water in his eyes. This new issue also coincided with the birth of his sister. When a sibling is born, preschoolers can have a hard time adjusting.
Understanding my son needed connection and reassurance, I started telling him a story about some sand gnomes. Little gnomes that magically appeared into a little boys head one night. It took three minutes of telling this cute story of mighty sand gnomes, castles and the special powers of soap and water to change our situation around.
My goal was to get hair washed, my son needed some extra validation and love. Play helped us both. Win-Win! Although it was an added step to be playful, it was nevertheless much faster to help him feel in a bit more in charge of something that was not a favorite event for him. In this process, my son also learned that it was safe to tell me his worries and that we could find solutions together.
Ariadne Brill
My toddler wanted to independently walk across the big field to get to the parking lot. It was a long way for her. So we hopped like kangaroos, crawled like lizards, ran like cheetahs, and when she was getting so slow and tired I picked her up and carried her like a baby koala (I asked her if she wanted to be a baby koala first). She loved it and we got across the field with big smiles.
What a great example, thank you so much for sharing your story.
[…] So, you child doesn’t want to wash their hands, put on their shoes, go outside, go to the potty, leave the playdate and so on. Transitions from one activity to the next are hard for kids, as are everyday tasks. They are too busy playing to stop and take care of life things or move onto the next thing. The typical response from a parent may be to talk about consequences — if you don’t brush your teeth you will get cavities — or to engage in a power struggle. The playful way is to just keep playing. We play a game ‘chasing’ the cavity germs around the mouth when we brush teeth. You could sing a song or play a song to help make transitions fun. Or use a favorite toy, make the toy “talk” and ask your child to put on their pajamas. Or try using a story to encourage cooperation or a game to set limits. […]
[…] We play a game ‘chasing’ the cavity germs around the mouth when we brush teeth. You could sing a song or play a song to help make transitions fun. Or use a favorite toy, make the toy “talk” and ask your child to put on their pajamas. Or try using a story to encourage cooperation or a game to set limits. […]