Better behavior without punishment is possible. It takes commitment, connection and a focus on cooperation. Children naturally follow the guidance of those they trust. Children also want to learn and grow, especially when they feel connected to you. The alternatives to punishment you find in this section will focus on real solutions and learning tools, to help children feel more connected,  capable and cooperative.

Why take a positive approach to discipline and find alternatives to punishment? Studies show that children that are raised with inflexible, punishment based discipline have lower self-esteem and struggle with making good decisions on their own. The alternatives to punishment in this section are all aimed at helping you find the confidence you need when setting limits and boundaries. And keeping a loving, respectful, thriving relationship with your child.

What To Do When Your Discipline Strategy Stops Working

What To Do When Your Discipline Strategy Stops Working

I’ve tried it all! I’ve done gold star rewards. I have tried fun prizes as bribes. We’ve done fun fuzzy pom-pom jars. And lots of yelling. Begging. Taking away screens, sweets and toys. Everything works for about two days. if I’m lucky a week.  And then we are back to square one. I’m tired. And my kids…

Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

A few years ago, my 3 year old daughter ripped her brothers’ picture. She did it on purpose and with the intent to get back at her brother. Many parents believe that such “acting out”  needs to be managed with swift discipline. A punishment like time out or some kind of consequence to teach a lesson….

Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

These Six Positive Parenting strategies can help you respond to your child when they are behaving in defiant, disrespectful or unhelpful ways. Children often act out when they are lost, fearful and in need of guidance. A child that is being defiant needs to reconnect with you and find his way back to calm. And until…

Why Timeouts Make Tantrums And Power Struggles Worse (And What To Do Instead)

Why Timeouts Make Tantrums And Power Struggles Worse (And What To Do Instead)

A parent wrote in recently asking why timeouts are making her daughters behavior worse instead of better. She shares: I have a 3 year old daughter that throws the biggest tantrums whenever i simply say no or disagree with her. She has picked up negative behaviors to calm herself. Such as slamming doors and using aggression….

10 Playful Solutions For Morning & Evening Routines : Parents S.H.A.R.E

10 Playful Solutions For Morning & Evening Routines : Parents S.H.A.R.E

“Play is our brain’s favorite way of learning.” -Diane Ackerman In this Parents S.H.A.R.E. post, our positive parenting community is sharing how they have used play as a parenting tool when faced with a variety of challenges during the morning and evening routines, from races to singing silly songs here are many fun ideas!!

If Not Punishment, Then What? Three Ideas That Work.

If Not Punishment, Then What? Three Ideas That Work.

What kind of discipline works for a child when they are misbehaving? When children  make a mistake, mess up, break things or say something obscene it might be difficult to decide to how address the situation.  Children really do benefit from having discipline and guidance, but children actually don’t learn from pain or shame.  When children…

How to Discipline Through Connection Using Your Child’s Love Language

How to Discipline Through Connection Using Your Child’s Love Language

My arms were still sore from scrubbing the dark streaks of marker my toddler had happily scribbled, off our porous pine dining table. I turned toward my oldest daughter. “I just told you not to leave your special (read; nonwashable) markers out where your little brother can reach them!” Had I been talking to a…

Positive Parenting Tools: Time In vs. Time Out

Positive Parenting Tools: Time In vs. Time Out

Most parents that use time out do so with good intentions and sometimes, a time out can give parents and children a chance to take a break from each other to cool off. However, non punitive parenting tools such as Time In are really effective in helping children develop life long skills such as regulating emotions and making decisions. It’s a mistaken but deeply ingrained notion that children need to feel bad about their behavior in order to change it. Learn more about time in and time out.

Enabling Children To Express All Of Their Emotions.

Enabling Children To Express All Of Their Emotions.

In an attempt to prevent a scene, parents use all the tricks to coerce their child in to following their instructions. They bribe and barter, they punish and threaten, or perhaps they simply whisper quietly and tell them “You’re okay,there’s no need to cry.” Sometimes these tricks work, though often what materialises is an even bigger outburst, either there and then, or saved up ready to be released in an explosion at a later time.

Positive Parenting: Punishing Misbehavior Doesn’t Have to be the Answer

Positive Parenting: Punishing Misbehavior Doesn’t Have to be the Answer

One morning my four year old daughter and I were getting ready to leave the house when she suddenly yelled “Idiot!” Right at me. As I processed the word, I saw my little girl’s cheeks flush. Tears streamed down her face as she half whispered – half yelled “you are an IDIOT Mama.” Total silence…

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