This One Life Together

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Philosophy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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This One Life Together: a parenting philosophy in the making.

My parenting philosophy somewhat summarized is this: This ONE life together. Me, my children, my husband, our family; in the here and now, in this one life that we each have, is the time to love, discover and laugh together. It’s the time to build and enjoy the foundation for a happy, healthy life.
I practice parenting with my husband, as a team with shared responsibilities. We love our children unconditionally; we are responsive day and night. We practice among other things, setting limits, modeling, kindness and cooperation, freedom with responsibility, wellness and mindfulness, and play based discovery and learning. From the spilled juice to the crayon marks on the floor to the heart melting “I love you mama” and “that’s mine” squabbles: every moment is a moment to learn or love or laugh about.

Modeling
About four years ago when M was approaching one year, I noticed he had started imitating everything I did in my morning routine, from stretching for yoga to pretend applying deodorant. Here was this little guy – watching, observing, learning, and imitating everything around him. The world was his learning grounds and he was watching everyone to learn. From how I face daily challenges to how I interact with others, what I am doing will model the way for my children. Sure there are other influences, but the principle of modeling is very important. Whatever values and behaviors I wish for my children as they grow, being respectful, showing empathy, reaching goals to name a few, I should be modeling and offering opportunities for my children to observe them.
Kindness & Cooperation
When I set out to practice parenting with kindness and Cooperation, the idea was for our family to live and work together in a harmonious way. Mostly it is going well; are there squabbles? Of course. Are there challenges? No doubt. The occasional downright refusal to say, put on sunscreen? Sure, after all everyone has their own will! We work through the challenges, we talk and find solutions and nothing melts my heart faster than watching M (5yrs) on his own accord jump to the rescue when sandal buckles turn out to be “so tricky” for N who is three years old.
Freedom & Responsibility
I like the Montessori concept of “freedom with responsibility.” This translated into my parenting in so many areas. For example, my children are free to dress in whatever they may want. It’s not unusual that fireman pants and a backwards orange t-shirt are worn together. The parameter is that the outfit be weather appropriate, and even this is easily solved with suggesting a quick step outside to “check for chills.” Choosing the order in which to get ready for bed, pajamas and then brush teeth or reversed, the freedom to make these choices is there. The responsibility to get them done is there and the long term effect is that hopefully my children are internalizing the ability to discern what is constructive and beneficial and then being able to use this skill as they grow and confront new challenges in life.
Wellness & Mindfulness
“No bad weather – just bad clothing” is what I learned from living in Germany for the past two years. Rain or Shine we are outside digging, running, playing, walking to keep well and fit. We keep generally healthy foods available and honor food choices and requests. We have a routine that ensures enough rest for everyone (I confess I get very little sleep these days and I’m working gently with baby to change that.) I parent in a way that respects everyone’s needs and try to meet them and approach life mindfully hoping to provide my children with tools to face life’s challenges.
Play & Learning
Play is serious business. Play takes precedence over dust bunnies any day. Our house is our play zone, our learning grounds. Imagination, creativity, fostering joy of learning is part of our daily life. Discovery is important and encouraged be it through questions, books, field trips, daily walks. Projects are more about process and discovery (making a huge mess) than final product.
So that is the plan for now, it’s not final or all inclusive.  It’s definitely not perfect, but life shouldn’t be about pursuing perfection but rather embracing the imperfections, and living fully, this ONE life we each have.

So what are you doing to build a good life, a happy, healthy and fun life with your family?

Check out the other submission for the Carnival of Natural Parenting here!

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon July 12 with all the carnival links.)

  • Between Love and Fear: On Raising our Children Sensibly — Mamma Earthly at Give an Earthly discusses the fear factor in parenting and how she overcame it, despite societal pressures.
  • really, when do i get my cape? — Sarah at small bird on fire is a working city mama trying to learn how to set aside her expectations of perfection and embrace the reality of modern parenting.
  • Baby, Infant, and Toddler Wearing — Child wearing is part of Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured‘s parenting philosophy. In this post, Sarah describes benefits of child-wearing and gives tips for wearing babies, infants, and toddlers (even while pregnant).
  • First Year Reflections — As her daughter’s first birthday approaches, Holly at First Year Reflections reflects on how she and her husband settled into attachment parenting after initially doing what they thought everyone else did.
  • Making an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a guest post from Sam about the unexpected lessons giving a four-year-old an allowance teaches the child — and the parent.
  • How to be a Lazy Parent and Still Raise Great Kids — Lisa at Granola Catholic talks about how being a Lazy Parent has helped her to raise Great Kids.
  • Philosophy in Practice — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how her heart shaped the parenting philosophy in her home.
  • What is Attachment Parenting Anyway? — Gaby at Tmuffin describes the challenges of putting a label on her parenting philosophy.
  • Of Parenting Styles — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom talks about how she and her husband tailored various parenting styles to fit their own preferred parenting philosophy.
  • Moment by Moment Parenting — Amy at Peace 4 Parents encourages those who care for children (including herself) to explore and appreciate parenting moment-by-moment with clarity, intention, trust, and action.
  • Maintaining Spirituality in the Midst of Everyday Parenting, Marriage, and Life — Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured shares her perspective on finding opportunities for spiritual growth in every day life.
  • Parenting Philosophy — Lily, aka Witch Mom’s parenting philosophy is to raise child(ren) to be compassionate, loving, inquisitive, and questioning adults who can be trusted to make decisions for themselves in a way that avoids harming others.
  • Long Term — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis thinks about who she would like to see her daughter become — and what she can do now to lay a strong foundation for those hopes.
  • Connection, Communication, Compassion — She’s come a long way, baby! After dropping her career in favour of motherhood, Patti at Jazzy Mama discovered that building solid relationships was going to be her only parenting priority.
  • My Parenting Inspirations – Part 4 — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at her biggest parenting inspiration and how that translates into her long-term parenting philosophy.
  • A Parenting Philosophy in One Word: Respect — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction summarizes her parenting and relationship philosophy in one word: respect.
  • Knowledge and Instinct — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that knowledge and instinct are super important … as are love, encouragement and respect. It’s the ideal combo needed to raise happy and healthy children and in turn create meaningful relationships with them.
  • THRIVE!The Sparkle Mama wants to set a tone of confidence, abundance, and happiness in her home that will be the foundation for the rest of her daughter’s life.
  • On Children — “Your children are not your children,” say Kahlil Gibran and Hannah at Wild Parenting.
  • This One Life Together — Ariadne aka Mudpiemama shares her philosophy of parenting: living fully in the here and now and building the foundation for a happy and healthy life.
  • Enjoying life and planning for a bright future — Olivia at Write About Birth shares her most important parenting dilemmas and pours out her heart about past trauma and how healing made her a better parent.
  • My Parenting Philosophy: Unconditional and Natural Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about her parenting philosophy from a year of following her instincts as a mama.
  • An open letter to my children — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine writes an open letter to her children.
  • My Starter Kit for Unconditional Parenting — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses her wish to raise a good person and summarizes some of the nontraditional practices she’s using with her toddler son in order to fulfill that wish.
  • Responsiveness — Sheila at A Gift Universe has many philosophies and goals, but what it all boils down to is responsiveness: listening to what her son wants and providing what he needs.
  • Tools for Creating Your Parenting Philosophy — Have you ever really thought about your parenting purpose? Knowing your long-term goals can help you parent with more intent in your daily interactions. Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers exercises and ideas to help you create your own parenting philosophy.
  • Be a Daisy — Becky at Old New Legacy philosophizes about individuality and how she thinks it’s important for her daughter’s growth.
  • What’s a Mama to Do? — Amyables at Toddler in Tow hopes that her dedication to compassionate parenting will keep her children from becoming too self-critical as adults.
  • grown-up anxieties. — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life explains her lone worry concerning her babies growing up.
  • Why I Used Montessori Principles in My Parenting Philosophy — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells why she chose Montessori principles to help her now-adult children develop qualities she wanted to see in them as children and adults.
  • Parenting Philosophies & Planning for the FutureMomma Jorje considers that the future is maybe just a fringe benefit of doing what feels right now.
  • Not Just Getting Through — Rachael at The Variegated Life asks what truths she hopes to express even in the most commonplace interactions with her son.
  • Parenting Philosophy? Eh… — Ana at Pandamoly shares the philosophy (or lack thereof) being employed to (hopefully) raise a respectful, loving, and responsible child.
  • Parenting Philosophy: Being Present — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses the changes her family has made to accommodate their parenting philosophy and to reflect their ideals as working parents.
  • Who They Will Be — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro shares a short list of some qualities she hopes she is instilling in her children at this very moment.
  • Short Term vs. Long Term — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts how long term parenting goals often get lost in the details of everyday life with two kids.
  • Parenting Philosophy: Practicing and Nurturing Peace — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle sets personal goals for developing greater peace.
  • Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 1: The Yamas — In part 1 of a set of posts by Zoie at TouchstoneZ, Zoie guest posts at Natural Parents Network about how the Yoga Sutras provide a framework for her parenting philosophy.
  • Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 2: The Niyamas — In part 2 of a set of posts by Zoie at TouchstoneZ, Zoie explores how the Niyamas (one of the eight limbs in traditional Yoga) help her maintain her parenting and life focus.
  • Our Sample Parenting Plan — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shares hopes of who her children will become and parenting strategies she employs to get them there.
  • Philosophical Parenting: Letting Go — Jona at Life, Intertwined ponders the notion that there’s no right answer when it comes to parenting.
  • Unphilosophizing? — jessica at instead of institutions wonders about the usefulness of navel gazing.
  • Parenting Sensitively — Amy at Anktangle uses her sensitivity to mother her child in ways that both nurture and affirm.
  • how to nurture your relationships — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes that sometimes all kids need is a jolly good listening to …
  • Philosophy Of An Unnatural Parent — Dr. Sarah at Good Enough Mum sees parenting as a process of guiding her children to develop the skills they’ll need.
  • Life with a Challenging Kid: Hidden Blessings — Wendy at High Needs Attachment shares the challenges and joys of raising a high needs child.
  • Flying by the Seat of My Pants — Heather at Very Nearly Hippy has realized that she has no idea what she’s doing.
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Ariadne is a happy and busy mama to three children. She practices peaceful, playful, responsive parenting and is passionate about all things parenting and chocolate. Ariadne has a B.S. in Communication, is a certified Positive Discipline Parenting Educator, and has completed several graduate courses in child development, psychology and family counseling. She lives on top of a beautiful mountain with her family, one cuddly dog and "bluey" the fish.

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29 thoughts on “This One Life Together

  1. Pingback: On Children « Wild Parenting

  2. I really need to learn the “no bad weather, just bad clothing” maxim. Of course, my trouble spots are just as likely to be summer when I’m too hot. :)

    I love the “freedom with responsibility” idea as well — certain reassuring constraints but possibilities within them.

  3. Pingback: Yama Niyama and the Red Pajama Mama: Part 2 « TouchstoneZ

  4. Pingback: A Parenting Philosophy in One Word: Respect | Monkey Butt Junction

  5. Pingback: Life with a challenging kid: hidden blessings | high needs attachment

  6. Pingback: Not Just Getting Through

  7. Pingback: My Parenting Philosophy: Unconditional and Natural Love

  8. Pingback: Be a daisy | Old New Legacy

  9. Pingback: Parenting Philosophy: Being Present | The Artful Mama

  10. Pingback: Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 1: The Yamas | Natural Parents Network

  11. Pingback: Why I Used Montessori Principles in My Parenting Philosophy | LivingMontessoriNow.com

  12. Pingback: Tmuffin: WHAT IS ATTACHMENT PARENTING ANYWAY?

  13. Pingback: Long Term « Rosmarinus Officinalis

  14. Pingback: Philosophical Parenting: Letting Go | Life, Intertwined

  15. i have to work on the ‘modeling’. i’ve started to notice my bubby doing my yoga routine with me, so i think i should watch what my interactions are like. should probably swear less too…

  16. Pingback: Parenting Philosophy: Practicing and Nurturing Peace - Child of the Nature Isle

  17. Thank you Carnival Readers for all your wonderful comments and feedback! It has been such a great experience to read everyone’s posts!

  18. Thank you for sharing! You have made some great points, and I love the notion of no bad weather, just bad clothing too (though, we’ve got 42 degree Celsius weather now, that is a bit of a challenge!). But togetherness and meeting everybody’s needs is the most important point you’ve made. You sound like a very happy family.

  19. Pingback: Of Parenting Styles « Chronicles of a Nursing Mom

  20. Pingback: Philosophy in Practice «

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