Positive Discipline

The principles of  positive discipline as well as the many proven and effective positive discipline tools can help you raise resilient, capable children.   Positive discipline promotes cooperation, family togetherness and treating all family members with mutual respect. Children that experience discipline that is positive are more likely to develop social and emotional skills.

By choosing positive discipline for your family,  you can actively help your child feel capable and ready to tackle life’s challenges.

Positive discipline models to children the value of being helpful, caring, responsible and cooperative.

Positive discipline also encourages families to focus on problem solving and making agreements which promotes critical thinking and creativity and responsibility.

Positive discipline does not rely on rewards and punishments and instead uses the power of active listening, relationship building and understanding your child through empathy and validation to promote positive behaviors.

What is Positive Discipline? How Is Positive Discipline Connected with Positive Parenting Connection?

The Positive Discipline approach is based on the very popular work of Jane Nelsen, D.Ed. and has it’s roots in the works of psychologists Alfred Alder and Rudolf Dreikus. Ariadne Brill, founder of the Positive Parenting Connection is a member of the Positive Discipline Association and certified as a Positive Discipline Parenting Educator.

The following description of the five criteria for positive discipline is directly based on the work of Jane Nelsen, D.Ed.:

THE FIVE CRITERIA FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

  1. Kind and Firm at the same time:  Guide your child by being respectful and encouraging even when misbehavior happens.
  2. Promotes in children a sense of Belonging and Significance: Help your child feel a strong connection to you and family.
  3. Solutions and actions are Effective Long-Term: The goal is not to just stop behaviors with punishments (short term) but to help children develop positive, new and acceptable behaviors through solutions and learning.
  4. Teaches valuable Social and Life Skills for good character: Encourage your child to be respectful, show concern for others, learn how to problem-solve, have accountability, contribute and cooperate at home, school and community.
  5. Invites children to discover how Capable they are and to use their personal power in constructive ways.

With the tools and concepts of Positive Discipline, children and parents can develop a meaningful connection and strive for cooperation and respectful interactions every day.

Positive Discipline focuses on:

  • non-punitive solutions
  • encouragement
  • respectful interactions
  • effective communication
  • connection & play
  • building self-esteem, capability and empowerment

Experts in child development and psychology now know that children are wired to connect with their parents. From the very moment of birth, your child seeks connection to you and the stronger that connection, the more responsive to your teachings and guidance your child will be.

“Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches.”

– Jane Nelsen, Author of Positive Discipline Series

 

Check out below our library of Positive Discipline Articles

This Simple Change To How You Set Limits On Misbehavior Will Help Your Kids Listen To You

This Simple Change To How You Set Limits On Misbehavior Will Help Your Kids Listen To You

Eight Key Phrases for setting limits without having to raise your voice using Positive Discipline The idea of parenting with kindness and firmness at the same time sounded so appealing when I first heard it. But I still struggled: What does kind and firm parenting look like, in the moment, when my child is driving…

Trusting Your Parenting Intuition Might Be A Really Good Thing (Especially If You Help It Along)

Trusting Your Parenting Intuition Might Be A Really Good Thing (Especially If You Help It Along)

Many years ago, my mother-in-law told me that I was reading too many books about parenting. She said that I should trust my parenting intuition, because the right answers would just come to me. Her vote of confidence felt lovely…and yet, later that night, what “came to me” was a yelling match when my daughter…

Three Alternatives to Punishment That Help Your Child Do Better

Three Alternatives to Punishment That Help Your Child Do Better

Inside: Discover alternatives to punishment that help your child do better when they are misbehaving. When children are misbehaving, like using back talk, hitting a sibling or refusing to go to bed it might feel challenging to address the situation without resorting to punishments like time out, yelling or grounding. Children benefit from discipline and…

Kids Routine Charts and Using Positive Discipline To Make them Work

Kids Routine Charts and Using Positive Discipline To Make them Work

Over the summer, my 9 year old daughter began having trouble falling asleep. “I just can’t sleep!!” she whined (and she really meant it.) After several weeks of trying to talk her out of her insomnia, I decided a new bedtime routine was in order. We brainstormed the steps, and decided to include a short…

How to Set Limits with Your Child (That Stick!) in 3 Easy Steps

How to Set Limits with Your Child (That Stick!) in 3 Easy Steps

I keep a notebook about each of my children in which I record major events, questions, and notes from parent-teacher conferences and other meetings. I happened to be thumbing through my daughter’s notebook while at a doctor visit last month, and a folded piece of paper fell out.   On it, I’d  described a challenging…

Two Things Every Child Needs for Intrinsically Motivated Cooperation

Two Things Every Child Needs for Intrinsically Motivated Cooperation

Your child’s behavior is not the problem. Really. If your child’s behavior is not the problem, then what is? Some parents reply, “I’m the problem!”  It’s true that you may be part of the problem but here’s the real answer . . . The problem is the problem. There’s always something deeper that causes the…

Why Timeouts Make Tantrums And Power Struggles Worse (And What To Do Instead)

Why Timeouts Make Tantrums And Power Struggles Worse (And What To Do Instead)

A parent wrote in recently asking why timeouts are making her daughters behavior worse instead of better. She shares: I have a 3 year old daughter that throws the biggest tantrums whenever i simply say no or disagree with her. She has picked up negative behaviors to calm herself. Such as slamming doors and using aggression….

The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

Discipline that teaches your child’s heart and mind at the same time. When my son was four years old, he was sweet, funny and quite mischievous. Just a moment unsupervised and something was likely to get opened, spilled or broken. Most days my son was content to play with his toys, in the garden or…

Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

A few years ago, my 3 year old daughter ripped her brothers’ picture. She did it on purpose and with the intent to get back at her brother. Many parents believe that such “acting out”  needs to be managed with swift discipline. A punishment like time out or some kind of consequence to teach a lesson….

Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the air like fireworks. The beautiful color and sound filled him with joy as the dirt rained down over his head…

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