“You drive me crazy!”
“You are such a brat!”
“You never listen to me!”
Do you ever catch yourself thinking or saying things like that about your child? Do you struggle to gain control of your interactions, wishing, hoping, pleading that things just go smooth for once? Maybe it’s not all the time, just occasionally but even then you feel things are JUST not WORKING!!!
Here is the thing: Are these thoughts really true or just how things seem in THAT moment?
Is our child “driving us crazy” or do we have a million and one things on our mind? Is our child a “BRAT” or having a really tough time with something, maybe they are tired, hungry, getting sick, or needing to reconnect, take a breather etc…? Are our expectations, thoughts and feelings all in alignment or needing a little adjustment?
What happens if we take responsibility for OUR feelings, thoughts and decisions in that moment? What happens if we accept that our children have feelings and that we are there to coach and guide them through it not to shame, blame and provoke even more of a divide?
So what can we do?
-Ask questions and try to really understand what is going on.
-Involve your child. Let your child be part of the solution.
-Stop picking at the little things and instead look at all the positives and great thing your child does well.
-Spend time together that is meaningful – no screens or phones to interrupt. Just a small while makes a huge difference!
-Double check your expectations – is what you want really developmentally feasible?
As parents, we must be willing to be a part of the solution, to face the problem together with our child and not make the child the problem – because really, if we stop and really look, sure maybe there IS a problem, a need, a something that we can tackle and transform into a solution but it’s probably not our child that is driving us crazy or being a brat – but rather something within ourselves that needs some attention.
So what is challenging you lately?
Peace & Be Well.