Today I am welcoming Life Coach Tara with a guest post on the challenges of balancing needs and a special coaching opportunity.
We all know the saying “I always put my child first” I often wonder why parents say this… I often wondered why “I” used to say this. Was it because I was trying to prove myself to others that I AM a great parent? Or trying to convince myself of this?
My Name is Tara & I’m a life coach for women. The interesting pattern that I have noticed working with women is that they often lack self love & acceptance of themselves and the patterns that this seems to take the ripple effect in their family and life as constant struggles with relationships (partners, children etc), low energy & lack of passion & purpose (motivation).
Who am I to say?
I’m a mum to 2 wonderful kids both under 3 years of age. They were both birthed at home naturally and pain free, they rarely wore nappies (Elimination communication), breast fed, co-slept, allowed to learn naturally & at their own pace… We do pretty much everything in an unconventional way. Which leads me onto the conventional saying “I always put my child(ren) first”.
After my 2nd baby was born my life began to shift and re-think what life is really about. Naturally things began to unfold (along with multiple illnesses) and the one realization that I began to see more and more clearly was that I was not living my life. I was living my life THROUGH my children. They always came first, always got their every need met, especially before mine and if it wasn’t my kids I was caring for it was my hubby (cooking dinner, cleaning etc). Simply put I was living my life through everyone else. Even in my spare time I was reading books ‘about’ how to raise my children or have a better relationship with my hubby.
Most of us are guilty of the above… and guilty may not even be the right word because we all learnt from SOMEWHERE that this is what you need to “be” to be a good parent. I know that my mum taught me to put others first – always, but the interesting thing about my mum (which I love to bits) is that only now that she is over 50 she has realized how much this has stuffed her life up. I see many other women realizing once all their kids have ‘left the nest’ they simply don’t know what to do with themselves, they feel lost because now they only have to think about themselves… which is very intimidating and scary, considering that most of their life they have never really known themselves.
As I write this I feel my heart ache, because I’ve been there… lost, unsure of ‘why’ I’m living (only really through everyone else) and getting frustrated because I just KNEW that there was something bigger & better that I could be doing with my life. I wanted to do so many things for myself. I had hobbies that I loved to do but never had the ‘time’ OR I felt guilty about taking that time.
How does this all fit into positive parenting? Well let me say it like this: You’re trying your hardest to raise your child(ren) in a peaceful way so that they can grow to be thriving people in this world. If you’re raising your children this way and you are doing all the appropriate ‘actions’ to support them in their life and trying to stick to the ‘right words’ to help them grow rather than forcing…. These actions and words are great, BUT do you want to know a powerful secret (which you probably already know ;-)… Children learn from ‘seeing’ more so than words and actions. If you want your child to grow to be a thriving child… YOU need to be a thriving parent! So, lets talk about YOU…
Who are you? What do you love to do? What are your hobbies? What makes your heart sing? What would you do if you had more time? What are your wildest Dreams?
Reflecting back a year or so ago…these questions above I would simply be in denial and say… “well my children are everything”… and you can see in those words where I went wrong. If my children and ‘family’ are everything then where is there room for ME to live MY LIFE?
Is this you?
You’ve lost your Mojo (remember that drive you had before being a parent?) You’re always low on energy to get through the day? Struggle with your Child’s behavior and wonder where you have gone wrong? Doubt your parenting style? Your relationship with your partner really seems to be more like ‘house buddies’ instead of a loving relationship? or Like you’re constantly disagreeing with your partner and your different Ideas?
Do you find yourself saying: “when my kids are older I’ll be able to do so & so….”
Would like more of YOU in YOUR life?
I am offering something very special to the readers here on this wonderful blog. I’m opening up some space for inspired mummas to allow time to speak 1 on 1 with only 8 inspired women here who want to create change in their life and put the YOU back in YOUR life.
If you want to: Find & use your natural woman/mumma power to benefit you & your life (yes we all have it!) Discover how to conquer your challenge(s) in the easiest & fastest way possible & create the harmony & peacefulness that you desire…? And all the while continue on a positive parenting path, then consider entering this very special giveaway.
Thanks for reading here and thank you for creating a positive change in this world through your parenting style!
Love ~ Laugh ~ Live
~ Tara Life Coach for Inspired Women
You can find Tara on Facebook too.
To participate in this oppo rtunity, please leave a comment below answering the question: Why do you want more you in your life? or simply say you are interested! (This offer is closed. Please contact Tara for other opportunities she may be offering!)
Tara is offering her coaching free of charge to eight readers. Terms and conditions of coaching are between Coach Tara and reader. Positive Parenting Connection has not received any compensation, holds no guarantees or liability for this offer and/or services provided by Coach Tara.
Latest posts by Ariadne Brill (see all)
- Why Threats and Bribes Don’t Lead to Cooperation and What to Try Instead - November 13, 2015
- Rethinking Punishment: 3 Steps that Help Children Change Unacceptable Behaviors - November 12, 2015
- What To Do When Your Discipline Strategy Stops Working - October 7, 2015